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than sit through Mamma Mia again:

1. Have my other ovary taken out through my belly button (with no incision).
2. Sit through a Nebraska summer with no air conditioning.
3. Watch 24 hours of the Christian cable channel.
4. Eat a bowl of Vegemite.
5. Commute from Olympia to Bellingham every day.
6. Live for a month with no broadband.
7. Listen to that free credit report song in an endless loop.

As for Colin Firth, well we’ll always have Pemberley and your wet clingy shirt. Other than that I’m sorry to say…it’s over.

What a difference from the last action piece of drivel I reviewed almost a year ago. To quote South Park:

General: “But Mr Bay, those aren’t ideas, those are special effects!”
Michael Bay: “I don’t know the difference…”

Iron Man was an unexpected and delightful surprise. The key difference this time may have been that I had no expectations whatsoever going in. I have an appreciation for Stan Lee & co., and Marvel Comics (Wolverine being my favorite character from that side of the house, but I’ve always been a Superman girl). I was surprised about Robert Downey Jr. being cast as the main character given his history but have never disliked him as an actor.

So with little to no expectations nor fear of watching another childhood memory getting burned at the stake…wow! I was absolutely entertained for the entire length of the movie. Maybe part of it is believing for so long that Hollywood had run out of ideas it was something akin to a starving person sitting down to a steak dinner. I don’t know and I don’t want to overthink it – but there was action where action was needed, good character development, and the acting was 95% believable. The parts that could have been cheesy were barely noticeable when sandwiched nicely between the really well done parts. Success!

My only regret is not listening to the little voice in my head that told me to stay after the credits. Thank goodness for Youtube but it would have been great to see it in the theater.

I saw the trailer for the new Indiana Jones movie and all I could think was “shit, it’s that Transformers kid” which inevitable means that will be a Netflix rental. But The Dark Knight looks *awesome*.

5 reasons why Transformers the movie sucked. Don’t read if you don’t care to know what happen.:

1. More time spent on human character development than Transformer goodness. Do I care about some pseudo-geek and the hot girl he wants to hook up with? No, goddammit!! Keep your love stories out of my sci-fi/action films!

2. Product placement. Product placement. Product placement.

3. Bumblebee is a Volkswagon Bug, not a Camaro. The quote on IMDB summing up the change made me laugh a little considering the hypocrisy:

“Bumblebee’s classic alternate mode was a Volkswagen Beetle, but this was changed to a Camaro. This is because the makers of Volkswagen do not want their vehicles associated with “war toys.” Jazz can no longer be a Porche for the same reason.”

4. Think Armageddon meets Independence Day meets Terminator and you’ve pretty much seen this entire movie before.

5. Horrible plot and story progression including bad timing and pacing. Too many characters introduced whom you never see or hear from again. Boring, pointless, and meandering dialogue which makes you forget which movie it was you came to see in the first place!

Growing up in the 80′s the Transformers series carries a special place in my memories, and I was sorely disappointed coming out of this flick. The only cool thing was seeing Optimus Prime come to life and shape change. That was about it, and why my inner child is pretty much weeping tonight